I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I know her cup size but not her name....
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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