she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
