We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
