you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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