Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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