i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
