cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
