Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
