HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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