I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
