So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
