i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
