R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
