Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
