no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
