I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
