His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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