I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Randomize
