wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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