matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
