if you like me you must not know who I am
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
