So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
