ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
