Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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