i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
