you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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