I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
