I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
