I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
