The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
