This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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