what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
