Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
