i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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