I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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