I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Ketchup is God's man juice
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
