dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
