You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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