Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
