But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
