Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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