When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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