my vag is so smooth its legendary
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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