"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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