Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Damn victory sex feels great
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
