had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
