Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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