dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
