yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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