so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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