Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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