Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
