IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Randomize
