if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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